4 Most Common Questions About Rehearsals

It’s getting close to your day and now you’ve got all the decorations and fun stuff set it’s time to focus on rehearsing your ceremony. By now you should have the ceremony specifics set with your officiant to know the ins and outs of what will happen so that you can do a run-through and share that with your wedding party and immediate family members. If you haven’t figured out all those details yet you will want to so that your rehearsal runs smoothly and is effective. 
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Here are 4 of the big questions when it comes to rehearsals and the answers/tips our team has for you when planning for your rehearsal.

Oh man, if only we could express the importance of rehearsing enough. Your ceremony is the why to the who day - all the planning you’ve put in, the goal and focus of your day. It’s the moment and memory that you will carry with you for the rest of your lives as you start your journey together. Your ceremony comes with a lot of heartfelt emotions, and rehearsing the steps will only allow you to live in the moment more while you worry about what’s next less. 
The rehearsal also ensures that your family and wedding party are prepared, comfortable, and ready for the day. Your wedding party wants nothing more than to do their part and fulfill their role - giving them a rehearsal will give them the tools and knowledge to do just that. Don’t skip your rehearsal - not matter when/where you do it or with whom, it will keep everyone on the same page and make for a smooth ceremony.

Can’t really tell everyone to attend if you don’t have the when and where of your rehearsal worked out. Back in the day rehearsals were always held the evening before, but what we’ve come to learn over the past 10 year is that people work, travel for weddings, couples don’t always want to spend a big amount on a rehearsal dinner and accommodations and that even our couples don’t necessarily have the time. In addition to that weddings are no longer primarily held on Saturdays alone which means that your venue may not have availability the evening before for you to rehearse. ​

All this to say that morning rehearsals have become the most popular answer for couples - it allows everyone to attend without extending your schedule too much. It also opens your evening before to do whichever activities you want - dinner with the wedding party, your family or a private date night running final errands. Morning rehearsals can also mean celebrating with a brunch for fun saving money compared to a rehearsal dinner, and also typically means that everyone can make the rehearsal.
What if you don’t want to see each other that day? No problem! Run through the ceremony 2 - 3 times with one of you (whoever needs more time to get ready) and then another 2 times with the other partner (typically the groom). 
Some couples prefer to rehearse in advance - sometimes a week before, other times mid week just days before, and some the old school night before. It’s really a personal choice outlined and crafted based on you and your wedding party’s schedules. 
If your venue is one of the few that includes a rehearsal time onsite you will want to coordinate with them based on their availability as well. Otherwise, your next detail is determining where. 

Here are some popular ideas for locations that couples like to do their rehearsals:

• Air BnB
• Hotel Lobby (both for convenience)
• Restaurant (the same location where you’re planning a meal makes things easy)
• Local park or open space (for example the courthouse lawn in downtown Denton is a great spot - beautiful for photos and surrounded by places to eat, celebrate and unwind before the wedding day)

Knowing who to have at rehearsal will help you know what parts/things to think through and have ready for that day and also help answer any questions your family and friends may through your way. The big ones obvious - “Do I need to be there?”
So, who does need to be there? Well here’s a quick run down…

• ​Officiant: this usually surprises most couples, but the officiant is typically not at the rehearsal. If you’re working with an experienced professional this is okay and not something to stress about. What you want to make sure is that the two of you feel comfortable with your ceremony script and that you go over it with your officiant well in advance and touch base 2 weeks prior. Ask them for a copy, and when you are going over it with them take notes. When do they need the rings handed to them? When will they have you join hands? The more details the better you will feel and you can paint the picture for your wedding party at rehearsal. If you are having an inexperienced officiant - say you’ve asked a friend or family member to become ordained for your day. We highly suggest that they do not miss the rehearsal as they will feel much more comfortable with a few dry runs out of the way as well! You still want to make sure you go over everything in depth - the rehearsal is not the time to pick and choose specifics and would only delay the practice, cause confusion and give you both more stress than you need. Skip that stress and go over everything in advance, bonus is that you don’t have to worry about everyone else chiming in on your decisions either. ​

• Wedding party: that’s an obvious one we know. Here’s the thing, today rehearsals are usually held during the week so some of your wedding party members may be flying in, getting off work late, or just plain hit traffic and miss it unexpectedly. That’s okay! You can ask someone to be a stand-in - like one of your ushers, and make sure that the rest of the party feel confident to fill them in on everything they missed. You can even do a mock line up at dinner if they’re able to join then, and of course, have the wedding party members go through things with those members the morning of so they know where to stand, what to do, and feel ready. 
• Parents: especially if they will be walking into music. If they will be seated prior to the ceremony beginning they do not need to attend the rehearsal and you can just let them know where their seat is (if they have a reserved seat). If they have the rehearsal dinner to prep and can’t make it just make sure that their escort down the aisle is present so they know where to line up, when to walk and where to escort the parent.
• Grandparents: typically grandparents aren’t able to attend and that is okay! Just make sure if they are walking into the ceremony with music (aka part of the ceremony and not seated prior) that whoever is escorting them down the aisle knows when, where and what to do. 
• Flower Girl(s) / Ring Bearer(s): Definitely need to attend! They get more out of the rehearsal than most - a sense of understanding and chance to work out a bunch of nerves. We cannot express enough how helpful it is to have any kiddos attend the rehearsal.
• Greeters and Ushers: Typically they do not attend the rehearsal, but as mentioned above if they will be escorting a grandparent we recommend they do attend so the grandparent does not have to. We do also recommend that if they are escorting a parent that cannot attend that the usher does attend.
• YOUR escort - whoever is walking with you (or your partner) down the aisle absolutely should be at the rehearsal!

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So you’ve told the key players they need to come to the rehearsal… now what do you need to do at rehearsal? If you have the rehearsal workbook and guide follow the checklist and worksheets you completed to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything. For those of you doing this thing solo and without a professional or the help of a workbook here’s a quick list we recommend on what to cover during rehearsal:

• Order of the ceremony and wedding party line up
  
• Quick ceremony run through including which songs will be playing
  
• Ceremony details (rings, vows, unity ceremony, lines to say, etc)
  
  • That includes petals and ring boxes for the kids!
    
• Where to go after the ceremony
  
• Timing of the day (when to be and where, as well as what they need to have)
  

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